There's a very specific journey that every new football fan takes. It doesn't matter if you started watching because of a partner, a friend group, a Taylor Swift situation, or just general curiosity. The phases are the same.

Here they are.

Phase 1: Complete and Total Confusion

You're watching your first game. People are yelling. Flags are flying. The clock stopped for no apparent reason. Someone just got tackled and everyone acted like it was the most important thing that's ever happened.

You have no idea what's going on. You're nodding along and pretending. You Google "what is a first down" under the table.

This is normal. Everyone starts here.

Phase 2: Asking Questions You're Embarrassed to Ask

You've watched a few games now. You know something is happening, but you're not sure what. You want to ask questions, but you're worried about looking dumb in front of people who clearly care a lot about this.

So you ask quietly. You ask a friend. You ask Google. You ask me.

There are no dumb questions in Phase 2. This is where the actual learning happens.

Phase 3: Picking a Team (For Possibly the Wrong Reasons)

At some point, you decide you need a team. Maybe it's the city you live in. Maybe it's the team your partner roots for. Maybe it's because you saw a player you liked, or the uniforms are a good color, or you just picked one and now you're committed.

The reason doesn't matter. The team is yours now. Congratulations and I'm sorry.

Phase 4: Getting Irrationally Upset About Your Team

This one sneaks up on you. You're watching a game and your team makes a terrible decision — a bad punt, a missed field goal, a penalty at the worst possible moment — and you feel something you didn't expect.

Anger. Genuine, irrational, completely disproportionate anger.

Welcome to being a football fan. This is what we signed up for.

Phase 5: Explaining Football to Someone Else

This is the phase where you realize how much you've actually learned. Someone in your life — a friend, a family member, a coworker — asks you a football question. And you answer it. Correctly. Without Googling.

You explain what a first down is. You explain why the clock stopped. You explain why the coach is challenging the play.

And then you sit back and think: huh. I actually know football now.

You do. You really do.

Phase 6: Having Opinions

Phase 6 is when you stop just watching and start judging. You have opinions about the quarterback. You have opinions about the play calling. You have opinions about the officiating that are extremely strong and possibly not entirely fair.

You're watching a game and you say "they should have gone for it on fourth down" — and you mean it, and you're probably right.

This is peak football fan behavior. You've arrived.

Phase 7: Recruiting Other People

The final phase. You've been through the journey. You know how good it feels to actually understand what's happening on the field. And now you want other people to feel that too.

So you start explaining football to people who don't know it. You send them articles. You invite them to watch games. You tell them it's not as complicated as it looks.

You become the person who got you into this.

The cycle continues.

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Which phase are you in? If you're still in Phase 1 or 2, Football 101 is the fastest way to get to Phase 5. And if you want to watch a game with people who are all somewhere in Phases 1 through 4, join a watch-along — no experience required, judgment-free zone, I promise.